I finished Northwestern’s Dance Marathon (DM), a 30-hour “dance marathon” that raises money for charity. As of my current writing (Sunday, 3/9/14 at 3:00am), I have been awake for 39 straight hours.
People told me how DM is like a super emotional experience at the end when you realize that you have danced 30 hours with your fellow Wildcats, as well as realize that you have raised millions of dollars for carefully-selected causes that truly change the lives of people. This year, NUDM raised money for Team Joseph to battle duchenne muscle dystrophy. At the end, there were inspirational tear-jerking speeches from the mother of the boy Joseph for whom the foundation was founded as well as other people. People in the audience cried, but I was kind of indifferent and simply labelled those people as soft.
Then I was talking to some of my brothers afterwards and one person in particular mentioned in passing “I’m glad I shared this experience with you.” And I realized then and there: nothing is permanent in life except the memories of our experiences, and I realized then and there that I would never become close with those people with whom I share no significant experiences. Dance Marathon immediately became a life-changing memory for me, and I figured out interesting things about some of my relationships with certain people.
it was -20 this morning and i still saw a guy on campus rocking his slim cargos rolled above ankles & dub monks with no socks that is #dedication
Last night Delt did its own version of the Power Walk, where everyone gathers in a circle and steps forward when certain statements read aloud by a moderator pertain to them. I was pleasantly surprised by the honesty and relative nonchalance with which people seemed to admit certain things about themselves; I certainly cowered out of one statement in particular and I’m still kicking myself for it. That being said, a lot of brothers stepped forward for the statement “Step forward if you should have stepped forward for something earlier tonight but did not.” That makes me feel a little better but I’m definitely disappointed in myself.
I did some thinking earlier today, though, and although this one thing that I am afraid to admit is not a big deal for other people, I have noticed that there are certain things about which I speak freely that other people hide away as shameful and embarrassing insecurities. Everyone just has different perspectives, I guess.
I got a lot done today: woke up early, had an advising session, mailed a package to my mom, cleared up a funding issue for UNITY, had lunch, sent emails, checked on a mis-shipped package, applied for an internship, fell asleep in macroeconomics, did arms day, had dinner, gave feedback on a friend’s essay, did (not do) some homework, and I’m about to watch the penultimate episode of the Bachelor, shoot an email to my boss at React Presents, then do more homework before hitting the hay.
It’s been a good day but there’s something missing. I think I know what it is, but at the same time I also know for a fact that I don’t know what it is. It’s a strange feeling. “Step forward if you feel lonely at Northwestern.” “Step forward if you have cried in the last month.” “Step forward if you have been suicidal.” I was never alone in stepping forward, which I found strangely comforting.
Last month it hit me like a magical typhoon out of nowhere but last weekend it was like an earthly and calm wave… what’s worse is that now every time I think about it, my heart rate actually begins to race to the point where I can’t concentrate on what I’m doing. I’m taking a hiatus until new year’s eve at the very least, but probably more just to be prudent.